Summer Nights, Camp Fires, Toasted Marshmellows and a Dick Roast

Did you miss me last weekend kinksters? I was off camping with some of my favorite people – several of my Mistress friends from back when I did real time domination work at a local dungeon. We had so much fun! Did some water skiing in our itty bitty bikinis, played some sand volley ball in those same bikinis, did some hiking, hung out by the fire toasting marshmallows, having a few drinks and we even had ourselves an impromptu little dick roast!

 

What’s a Dick Roast?

Sounds terrifying right? But I promise the only long tubes of flesh getting pricked with meat forks on our camping trip were hot dogs. It was a girl’s weekend after all. We left all our subbies at home 😉

The dick roast we had was of the comedy variety. You know, the kind of roast where a celebrity is put in the spot light and comedians make them the butt of the joke. Of course, we weren’t laughing at any celebrity, you see, all my girlfriends on this trip were kick ass SPH loving femdoms like me! And when you get a bunch of size queens like us together, let us cut loose a bit – we always end up laughing and joking about the most hilarious thing on the planet – tiny, worthless, little dicklets!

So there we were, hanging out by the campfire, firing small dick jokes off one after another. I swear my sides are STILL aching from laughing so hard almost a week later! My girlfriends are absolutely vicious when it comes to SPH (birds of a feather and whatnot). It was the most fun I’ve had all summer long! So I thought I’d spread the laughter and share some of my favorite jokes that came up at our fire side dick roast.

 

Some of my Favorite Jokes from Our Impromptu Dick Roast

What’s the difference between your dick and a baby carrot? Women actually want to put baby carrots in their mouth.

How is your penis like a pencil eraser? Small, pink, soft and only good for rubbing out mistakes

What does your wife have in common with a burn out light bulb? You can flick that little switch all you want but you’ll never turn ‘er on!

They say the average dick is 5.5 inches! You’re clearly the one responsible for bringing that average waaaaaay down.

Your dick is like a limited edition soft drink. Nobody wanted it and the production run was embarrassingly short.

Want a dick rating? I’d grade you AAA! Like the battery. Small, disposable and never enough power.

Your dick is like a mobile game ad. All hype. Zero gameplay.

Your dick is like a self check out. “Unexpected item in the bagging area” is the story of your sex life.

Your wife is addicted to dick. And micro-dosing just doesn’t fucking do it for her.

Your dick is so small we could play ring toss with cheerios.

 

Want Your Own Live Dick Roast?

I bet for those sph losers reading this, the thought of several beautiful Mistresses hanging around and making fun of tiny cocks got a little stir down in those panties didn’t it? Well, I for one think a dick roast would make for a very fun multi-mistress sph phone sex session! Just imagine the harsh, honest, and funny truths we will be saying about your small penis.

Call 1 (800) 601-6975 and ask your dispatcher for details on multi-mistress sessions and you can be the star of your very own dick roast! You lucky, little-loined, loser!

-Ms. Nadia