I’m sure you’ve heard that random factoid that says almost 80% of women are incapable of achieving orgasm from intercourse alone. It’s plastered all over dating advice columns about how to please your woman in bed. That tragic fact is cited as the reason that foreplay is so important. Cause ya know. You need to get your girl off before you get your dick wet otherwise she is going to be left with the female version of blue balls.

I’m here to tell you the truth. That “fact” it is absolute Bull Shit!

All women are actually capable of having a completely mind blowing and earth shattering vaginal orgasm. The problem is men. In some sick twisted joke of nature – the vast majority of men just don’t have what it takes to make a woman cum with his dick. There are three possibilities that keep you from being a real man. For the least fortunate of you more then one may apply.

1.) You are a limp noodle. You can’t get it up. Or if you can, you can’t keep it up.

2.) You are too quick on the trigger. Most men can reach orgasm in 2 minutes. Women take 20.

3.) You are just too fucking small.

The average penis length is between 5 and 6 inches. That. Is. Not. Enough. The pussy can push out the equivalent of a 9 lb ham. Point being, they stretch. Sorry guys if you are on the left side or even the middle of the bell curve you just plain suck in the bedroom because you have a small penis. You deserve humiliation phone sex because of it.

Oh and for those of you who think they DO have what it takes, that actually believe that they have left many women in bliss. Go rewatch when Harry Met Sally.