I’ve got a confession. I’ve made some calls do pretty ridiculous things for my amusement. I make them do it, then laugh and ridicule them for it! I get bored letting them be hand humpers all the time, so I’ve had to get creative. A humper’s gonna hump, so I just direct them to the most humiliating thing available when they call! Here are some of the recent humping humiliation calls that I have done:

Mattress Humpers – This one is pretty standard. Too much of a loser to get a woman into bed, so you end up just humping the bed itself!

Fruit Humpers – Some losers have either never actually felt what a nice warm pussy feels like, or it has been so fucking long they have forgotten! Enter the fruit humping. It’s the closest some of you will ever get. An empty banana peel or a hollowed out honeydew feels almost as good (or atleast that’s what you will keep telling yourself fruit cake)

Desk Humpers – When you are such an addicted little chronic masturbator you just have to call from the office – your desk is there and at the perfect height. Lay it out and rub it on that smooth surface!

Traffic Sign Humpers – Yep. I’ve even had pets that are such utter losers I have made them go out to hump, and even kiss, fucking stop signs and the like.

Have you ever engaged in humiliation humping? What was the object of your desire? I’m dying to know! Confess in the comments below.