“Just so you know. It’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a BIG DEAL.”

Well said Rachel. Well said.

For those who couldn’t catch the reference the aforementioned quote was uttered (or more so shouted) by Rachel Green in an episode of friends. It has always been a line that gets big laughs. When ever I am flipping through TV channels and I come across Friends I stop just to see if it is the one where Rachel makes fun of Ross for his Erectile Dysfunction.

Seriously. I love that quote. I want that shit on a T shirt.

It’s one of those, funny because it’s true type of things. All women know that whenever a guy is having performance problems in the bedroom you have to coddle him. If you say the wrong thing,  make the wrong face, or seem disappointed in any way. That thing will never come back up. The next time you go for a roll in the sack his willy will be having a bout of stage fright. So they say something like:

“Oh don’t sweat it! It happens. No big deal. Let’s just take a break.”

Of course that isn’t what she is REALLY thinking. Oh no. The dialogue inside her head is more along these lines:

“Are you fucking serious? What the hell is wrong with it. Why can’t he get it up? God I wanted to be fucked. I wish I was still with Maurice. He never had a problem like this. That man could fuck me all night long. I wonder if he is seeing anyone these days…I should give him a call”

You see, having a dick that doesn’t work makes you just as much of a loser as a guy with a tiny dick. Often even more so – there’s nothing worse then a nice big piece of man meat that can’t be used. And don’t think for a second that it isn’t a problem because you can always pop a little blue pill. It’s cheating. Real men don’t need any chemical help.

So just remember, while she is telling you it’s OK, she’s thinking about who she would rather be fucking instead.