I’ll be with a new little pet, and we’ll be doing the getting to know each other question and answer dance, and eventually the topic of the conversation turns towards their penis size.

“So, tell me about that dick of yours.”

“Uh, what about it?” – This is the part where I begin to smile, if it were a proper sized cock there wouldn’t be that hesitation.

“Describe it for me, do you shave? Are your circumcised? How big is it?” – circling my prey.

“Oh, it’s pretty good size wise. Like 6 inches.”

“LMAO. Pretty good size wise? WTF” – Pouncing!

“It’s normal! The average penis is only 5 – 6 inches. I’m 6 and 1/8 inches so I am bigger than most guys” – I love that offended panic-y tone here. Music to my ears. I might actually make this one cry.

“ROTFLMAO. Who the fuck settles for average? Since when is average ‘pretty good?’ Since never. That’s when. Think about fucktard, a woman’s vagina is designed to stretch; it can fucking pop out the equivalent of a 9lb ham. Why do you think there is a cultural phenomenon of a woman “faking it.” Because the average dude does not have a big enough cock to get the job done. 6 inches. Oh excuse me 6 and 1/8th inches is still just too fucking small.” – In for the kill.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. 8 and up. 8 and fucking up.